Who and whom both refer to people, but they do different jobs in a sentence.
Use who when the person is the subject, meaning the person doing the action.
Use whom when the person is the object, meaning the person receiving the action or following a preposition.
Correct:
- Who called you?
- Whom did you call?
In everyday speech, many people use who where formal grammar would use whom. In formal writing, the distinction still matters.
Quick Answer
Use who as the subject of a sentence or clause.
Example:
- Who sent the email?
The person did the sending.
Use whom as the object of a verb or preposition.
Example:
- Whom did you email?
The person received the email.
Simple test:
- If he, she, or they fits, use who.
- If him, her, or them fits, use whom.
Example:
- Who called?
- He called.
- Use who.
Example:
- Whom did you call?
- I called him.
- Use whom.
The Rule Explained
The difference between who and whom is based on grammar, not formality alone.
Who is a subject pronoun. It works like he, she, or they.
Whom is an object pronoun. It works like him, her, or them.
| Use | Correct Word | Test Word | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| Subject | who | he, she, they | Who wrote the report? |
| Object Of A Verb | whom | him, her, them | Whom did you invite? |
| Object Of A Preposition | whom | him, her, them | To whom should I reply? |
The most important rule is this: look at the job the word does in its own clause.
Do not choose who or whom only by word order. Some sentences look tricky because extra words come between the pronoun and the verb.
Example:
- Who do you think will win?
Use who because the person will win. The phrase do you think does not change the pronoun’s job.
When To Use It
Use Who For The Person Doing The Action
Use who when the person is the subject of a verb.
Correct:
- Who made this playlist?
- Who left the door open?
- Who wants the last slice?
- Who is leading the meeting?
In each sentence, the person is doing the action or being described as the subject.
Use Who In Relative Clauses When The Person Does The Action
Use who when it begins a clause and acts as the subject inside that clause.
Correct:
- The student who won the award gave a speech.
- The coworker who helped me deserves credit.
- The neighbor who called 911 stayed calm.
- The teacher who explained the rule was patient.
In each example, who does the action in its clause.
The student won. The coworker helped. The neighbor called. The teacher explained.
Use Whom For The Person Receiving The Action
Use whom when the person is the object of a verb.
Correct:
- Whom did the manager choose?
- Whom should we contact?
- Whom did you invite?
- Whom does this decision affect?
The person is not doing the main action. The person is chosen, contacted, invited, or affected.
In casual speech, many people would say:
- Who did you invite?
That is common and natural in conversation. In formal writing, whom is the traditional choice when the word is the object.
Use Whom After A Preposition In Formal Writing
Use whom after prepositions such as to, for, with, by, and about in formal writing.
Correct:
- To whom should I send the form?
- For whom is this message intended?
- With whom did you speak?
- By whom was the decision made?
This structure sounds formal. It is common in business, academic, legal, and official writing.
In everyday conversation, people often move the preposition to the end and use who.
Formal:
- To whom should I send the form?
Casual:
- Who should I send the form to?
Both are understandable. The formal version is more polished.
Use Whom In Phrases Like Many Of Whom
Use whom after phrases such as many of, some of, all of, several of, and most of.
Correct:
- The volunteers, many of whom were students, arrived early.
- The guests, several of whom traveled from out of state, stayed late.
- The applicants, some of whom had years of experience, interviewed today.
In these phrases, whom is the object of of.
When Not To Use It
Do Not Use Whom As A Subject
Do not use whom when the person is doing the action.
Incorrect:
- Whom is calling?
Correct:
- Who is calling?
The person is doing the calling, so who is correct.
Incorrect:
- Whom wants coffee?
Correct:
- Who wants coffee?
The person wants something, so who is the subject.
Do Not Use Whom Just To Sound Formal
A wrong whom sounds more awkward than a casual who.
Incorrect:
- She is the manager whom approved the budget.
Correct:
- She is the manager who approved the budget.
The manager approved the budget. That makes who the subject of approved.
Do Not Let Extra Words Confuse You
Ignore inserted words such as I think, you believe, or we know when they do not control the pronoun.
Incorrect:
- Whom do you think will win?
Correct:
- Who do you think will win?
The person will win. That makes who the subject of will win.
Incorrect:
- Give the award to the person whom you think deserves it.
Correct:
- Give the award to the person who you think deserves it.
The person deserves it. That makes who correct.
Do Not Force Whom In Casual Speech
In casual speech, whom can sound stiff.
Formal:
- Whom did you invite?
Casual:
- Who did you invite?
The formal version is grammatically traditional. The casual version is common in everyday conversation.
Use the version that fits your audience and purpose.
Common Mistakes
Using Whom As The Subject
Incorrect:
- Whom wrote this note?
Correct:
- Who wrote this note?
Test:
- He wrote this note.
Since he fits, use who.
Using Who After A Preposition In Formal Writing
Casual:
- Who are you talking to?
Formal:
- To whom are you talking?
The formal version uses whom after the preposition to.
Choosing Based Only On Word Order
Incorrect:
- Whom do you believe is responsible?
Correct:
- Who do you believe is responsible?
The person is responsible. That makes who the subject of is.
Using Whom After A Noun When Who Is The Subject
Incorrect:
- I need a tutor whom understands grammar.
Correct:
- I need a tutor who understands grammar.
The tutor understands grammar. That makes who correct.
Confusing Whoever And Whomever
Use whoever when the word is the subject of its own clause.
Correct:
- Give the ticket to whoever wants it.
The person wants it, so whoever is the subject of wants.
Use whomever when the word is the object of its own clause.
Correct:
- Invite whomever you choose.
You choose the person, so whomever is the object of choose.
Do not choose whomever just because it comes after to. Look inside the clause.
Correct:
- Give the ticket to whoever wants it.
The full object of to is the clause whoever wants it. Inside that clause, whoever is the subject.
Correct Examples
| Sentence | Correct Word | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Who is at the door? | Who | The person is the subject. |
| Whom did you text? | Whom | The person receives the action. |
| Who wrote this note? | Who | The person did the writing. |
| To whom should I reply? | Whom | The word follows a preposition. |
| The woman who called was kind. | Who | The woman did the calling. |
| The client whom I met was polite. | Whom | I met the client. |
| Who do you think is right? | Who | The person is right. |
| The guests, many of whom were late, apologized. | Whom | Whom is the object of of. |
More examples:
- Who wants the last slice?
- Whom should we ask for help?
- The friend whom I met yesterday works downtown.
- The friend who met me yesterday works downtown.
- Who approved the request?
- With whom did you share the file?
- Who do you believe can fix this?
- The employee who trained me was helpful.
- The candidate whom we interviewed accepted the offer.
- The students, several of whom were new, joined the club.
Quick Memory Fix Or Rule Of Thumb
Use this test:
He, she, or they = who.
Him, her, or them = whom.
Example:
- Who/whom called you?
Answer:
- He called me.
Use who.
Correct:
- Who called you?
Another example:
- Who/whom did you call?
Answer:
- I called him.
Use whom.
Correct:
- Whom did you call?
For tricky sentences, test only the clause that contains who or whom.
FAQs
What is the difference between who and whom?
Who is used for the subject. Whom is used for the object.
Example:
- Who called?
- Whom did you call?
The first person did the action. The second person received the action.
When should I use who?
Use who when the person is doing the action or acting as the subject.
Example:
- Who made dinner?
The person did the making, so who is correct.
When should I use whom?
Use whom when the person receives the action or follows a preposition.
Example:
- Whom did you invite?
The person was invited, so whom is correct.
Is whom still used?
Yes. Whom is still used, especially in formal writing.
You will often see it after prepositions, as in to whom, for whom, and with whom.
In casual speech, many people use who instead.
Is it who or whom did you call?
The formal version is:
- Whom did you call?
You can answer:
- I called him.
Since him fits, whom is correct.
In casual speech, Who did you call? is common.
Is it who or whom is calling?
The correct sentence is:
- Who is calling?
The person is doing the action, so who is correct.
Is “to whom it may concern” correct?
Yes. To whom it may concern is correct.
The word whom follows the preposition to, so it works as an object.
Can I use who instead of whom?
In casual speech, yes, many people use who instead of whom.
Example:
- Who did you invite?
In formal writing, whom may be preferred when the word is clearly an object.
Is it whoever or whomever?
Use whoever when the word is the subject of its own clause.
Correct:
- Give the form to whoever needs it.
Use whomever when the word is the object of its own clause.
Correct:
- Invite whomever you choose.
What is the easiest way to remember who vs. whom?
Use the he/him test.
If he fits, use who.
If him fits, use whom.
Example:
- Who called?
- He called.
Example:
- Whom did you call?
- I called him.
Conclusion
Use who for the subject of a sentence or clause. Use whom for the object of a verb or preposition.
The easiest test is simple: if he, she, or they fits, use who. If him, her, or them fits, use whom.
In formal writing, keep the distinction. In casual speech, who often sounds more natural than whom.
