You’re writing a sentence about someone whose gender you don’t know, and you need a reflexive pronoun. Themself? Theirself? Only one of these is standard English, even though both sound plausible.
This guide gives you a clear answer and explains exactly why one form works and the other doesn’t.
The Quick Answer
Themself is the correct choice when you need a singular reflexive pronoun to go with singular “they.” It’s increasingly accepted by major dictionaries and by style guides like the Chicago Manual of Style. Theirself is nonstandard — it isn’t recognized in formal or informal standard English, and neither is its plural cousin, “theirselves.”
Why This Is Confusing
English needs a reflexive pronoun to pair with singular “they,” and there isn’t universal agreement on the best one. Since “their” is the possessive form of “they,” it seems logical to build “theirself” from it, the same way “his” gives you “himself.” But English reflexive pronouns don’t attach to possessive forms — they attach to object forms. That mismatch is exactly why theirself feels plausible but isn’t standard.
The Pattern That Explains The Rule
Every standard reflexive pronoun in English is built from an object pronoun, not a possessive one:
| Object Pronoun | Reflexive Form |
|---|---|
| me | myself |
| you | yourself / yourselves |
| him | himself |
| her | herself |
| it | itself |
| us | ourselves |
| them | themselves / themself |
Notice that “their” never appears in that left-hand column — “them” does. That’s the entire reason theirself doesn’t fit: it’s built from the wrong base. Themself and themselves, by contrast, both come correctly from “them.”
Themself vs. Theirself At A Glance
| Form | Status | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Themself | Standard, growing acceptance | Recognized by Merriam-Webster; accepted by the Chicago Manual of Style |
| Themselves | Standard | Safe in all contexts, singular or plural |
| Theirself | Nonstandard | Not accepted by any major dictionary or style guide |
| Theirselves | Nonstandard | Same issue as theirself; built from the wrong pronoun base |
A Word Older Than You’d Expect
Themself isn’t a modern invention. It was actually the only form in use from the late 1300s until the mid-1400s — themselves didn’t appear at all until 1466, and it wasn’t used to refer to a single person until 1529. Themself, meanwhile, continued to be used for singular reference from around 1450 onward, even after themselves became the dominant plural form. In other words, themself has a longer history with singular reference than themselves does. It simply fell out of common use for a few centuries before singular “they” brought it back.
What Style Guides Actually Say
- Chicago Manual of Style: As of its 17th edition, Chicago explicitly permits themself as an acceptable reflexive pronoun for singular they.
- AP Stylebook: AP has largely stayed silent on themself specifically. Its guidance on singular “they” leans toward rewriting the sentence to sidestep the issue rather than endorsing or rejecting themself outright.
- General academic and formal writing: Themselves remains the safer default in traditional or exam-style writing, since some readers and instructors still treat themself as informal.
When To Use Each Form
Use themself when:
- You’re referring to one specific person using singular “they”
- You’re writing in a modern, inclusive style guide context (journalism, web content, most contemporary style guides)
- You want to avoid guessing at someone’s gender
Use themselves when:
- You’re referring to a group of people
- You’re writing for a formal or traditional academic audience that hasn’t adopted themself
- You want the safest, most universally accepted option
Avoid theirself and theirselves entirely. Neither has standing in formal or informal standard English, in any context.
Rewriting Around The Issue
If you’re unsure whether your audience accepts themself, you can often sidestep the question with a small rewrite:
- Instead of: Each employee should introduce themself.
- Try: Each employee should give a brief introduction.
- Instead of: Anyone who needs help can ask for themself.
- Try: Anyone who needs help can ask.
This isn’t necessary in most modern writing, but it’s a useful tool for strict style guides that haven’t settled the question.
Example Sentences
- The new hire introduced themself to the team.
- Everyone should be proud of themself today.
- The students introduced themselves one by one.
- Incorrect: Each employee should introduce theirself at the meeting.
- Incorrect: The group helped theirselves to the buffet.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is themself a real word?
Yes. Themself is recognized by Merriam-Webster and is accepted by some major style guides, including the Chicago Manual of Style, as a reflexive pronoun for singular “they.”
Is theirself ever correct?
No. Theirself isn’t accepted in any standard style guide or dictionary as correct English. It’s built from a possessive pronoun rather than the object pronoun that reflexive forms require.
Should I use themself or themselves for singular they?
Both are used in practice. Themself is increasingly common and grammatically consistent with singular they, while themselves remains the safer, more traditional choice for formal or academic writing.
Is themself older than themselves?
Yes, for singular use. Themself was the only form available until the mid-1400s, and themselves wasn’t used for a single person until 1529 — decades after themself was already doing that job.
What’s the difference between theirself and theirselves?
Theirself is the singular attempt and theirselves is the plural attempt, but both are built from “their” instead of “them,” which is why neither is considered standard English.
Conclusion
Themself is the modern, increasingly accepted answer when you need a singular reflexive pronoun for singular they. Theirself never earned that same acceptance and remains nonstandard everywhere. When in doubt, themself is your safest bet for singular reference, with themselves as the traditional fallback.
